Hey Macarena!

Oh, what a fun time we had at our visit yesterday. Of course Aunt Mia came, we waited for a really long time to see Dr. Owens. But the show was worth the wait. When we started the ultrasound everything was just like last time {only 3 times bigger} then when Dr. Owens hit his handy-dandy zoom button we could see so much more! Sweet Pea was dancing!!!! It was by far the most precious thing I've ever seen. Dr. Owens even laughed and said, "Hey, Macarena!" Which of course made Mommy laugh. Sweet Pea's little arms and legs were just going to town. The little head was even bobbing! I wish I could have gotten it on video.

Side note: We are currently at 9 weeks, so unfortunately we will have to wait another 9 weeks to find out the gender.

Another visit with Dr. Owens.

Today I'm going to see Dr. Owens again. I'm excited to see how much Sweet Pea has grown in the last 2 weeks. Aunt Mia is going with me, she'll be the first person to go with me and SEE the ultrasound. Aunt Mia is the most wonderful best friend to me. I'll look forward to updating later about what new things we learn about Sweet Pea today.

Appointment Update

I met with Dr. Owens today, it was a much more detailed visit than we've had thus far. I found out that we can be expecting Sweet Pea around April 5, 2010!

Whew.. what a week.

I've had a rough couple of days. This past week I've been so hungry, but ever since the exorcist situation I can't eat anything. I sit down and after just a couple of bites {I mean like maybe 2 bites} I get sick to my stomach and have to stop. The only thing I can eat is fruit. So at least that's healthy! The pain I was having has pretty much gone away, but hiccups have replaced it. Random, I know. My birthday is tomorrow, and for the first time in a while- I'm excited. Not necessarily because it's my birthday; but because we get an arrival date for Sweet Pea! I am going to have lunch with Sweet Pea's Mimi, and dinner with Daddy and Aunt Mia. So that should be fun. Daddy says he's not getting me anything but I bet he's fibbing. On a random side note. Most people know I'm a very sentimental person, and I believe in "signs." Well today I got one of those signs, and I was moved to tears. As I was driving home from a rather hard day at work, not looking forward the the stress and mess that was no doubt waiting for me; in the midst of all the "noise" on the radio there was a request. All the host said was that it was from a man, to his little girl. The song: Unchained Melody. Not all of you would know that, that song was a favorite of my Pawpaw's. I'm brought to tears by just the memory, it truly touched my heart. It was like Pawpaw was reaching down in the only way that he could to tell me, "Happy Birthday, Punkin", "I love you", "Congratulations"; all the things I know he wants to say- but can't. I wish there was some way that I would ever be able to give Sweet Pea even the slightest idea of just how much they would have been loved by him. It's an immeasurable amount. I'd give anything to be able to see Sweet Pea in his arms. But God had other plans, and I'm learning to cope with that. Not well, but I'm getting there.


I'm excited to share with you about tomorrow's appointment!

Six Weeks Today!

Wow, I still can't believe I'm saying that. I've seen the sonogram {saw that sweet heartbeat,} I've been exhausted for a month now, and for the very first time- last night I did my best impression of the movie "The exorcist." I know pleasant, right? {I sincerely hope that was because I hadn't eaten much yesterday, and then took my vitamins, which make my tumbly very rumbly.} Yet still I can't shake this feeling that at any moment the doctors office is going to call and say "Mrs. Bendel we're very sorry for the misunderstanding blah, blah, blah" and that the polka-dot I saw on that sonogram is really a cyst, that has to be removed by surgery. I, of course know that is not the case. But it still doesn't feel real. I'm very excited to go next week {on my birthday} and get an exact due date. I'll share it immediately! What a birthday gift. Daddy says I don't get a birthday present this year, he says I got what I really wanted. And to be honest- no gift in the world could top it!

Things that have happened so far:

• Mimi bought Sweet Pea several outfits. {You're going to have to either be a girl, or really, really like pink.}
• Mommy is still exhausted.
• Daddy is getting more excited, he asks how "we're" feeling everyday. Even if I bite his head off for doing it.
• Mommy got sick last night, still hoping it's a one time thing. Will eat more food today.

Change of plans.

**Update: Visit with Dr. Owens went well. Everything is ok, though I do have to take it easy until my next appt. when we can re-evaluate the situation. Dr. Owens performed an ultrasound, that showed that I am not as far along as we originally thought. I'm about 6 weeks and 5 days along, so we'll have to wait until April to meet Sweet Pea. I got to see the heartbeat an everything, I almost cried. I go back on the 18th {my birthday!} for a check up to make sure we haven't had anymore scary nights and to do another ultrasound to get an exact date.**

We had a scary night last night, hopefully I've over-reacting. Chance thinks I am, it's a distinct possibility. However, lucky for me my Dr. is just as paranoid as I am. So I don't have to wait until Wednesday anymore. I'm going in at 10. I'll update as soon as I can.

6 months ago today...

Several months ago, on our other site I posted this. Since we will be publishing this site as a keepsake, I thought it fitting to share this here also.

February 9, 2009:
My hearts desire...
*Disclaimer: I may begin to ramble, I tend to get highly emotional when I discuss this topic.*
I have wanted to be a mommy since I knew what being a mommy was. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. When I was in kindergarten and the teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I quickly responded with "I want to be a mommy." {However, I've always felt that conceiving would be difficult for me.} The sight, smell, and feel of an infant are absolutely intoxicating for me. I love to hold their little feet in my hands, to caress their soft wisps of hair, to feel their soft breathing next to my chest. {Tears well up in my eyes just thinking about it. I'm such a sap.} Sometimes when I don't have anything else to do online, I look at photos of nurseries, and baby bedding, or baby clothing. I've had baby fever since the moment Chance and I walked back up that aisle after saying our "I Do's", maybe a little before that if I'm being completely honest here. It comes in spurts, sometimes the longing subsides, other times my mind dances with thoughts of nurseries, bath times and bed times. Many people say that I'm too young, or that Chance and I haven't been married long enough. Those people are the same people that said I was too young to get married and wagered in their minds whether we'd even make it to 6 months. I've always known I would marry young, and I hoped I would shortly there after become a mommy. 18 months have come and gone with not so much as a glimmer of hope. Let me make it clear, Chance and I are not actively "trying" to conceive. I'm aware that, that would be foolish. I know that God will bless us when we are "ready" in his eyes. That being said, Chance and I have done nothing to prevent pregnancy for over 2 years now. According to my doctor this is when we get serious with fertility treatments, if I want to ever have a baby. I'm not sure that I'm on board with all the medicines, ultra sounds and blood work again just yet. {Chance and I VERY briefly tried to conceive in early 2008, but I was exhausted with work, and the 5 ultrasounds a month and taking 6 medicines was just too much for my body.} The doctors say that I have Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome {PCOS}- not sure that I entirely buy into that. I've begun to feel as though that's the new blanket diagnosis when the doctors don't really have and answer for why a twenty something, perfectly healthy woman can't conceive. Chance is a strong believer in, "It will happen when it's supposed to happen." and "This isn't going to happen on our timeline." I know with all of my heart that both of those things are true. Though it doesn't make the yearning any less. He of course would be thrilled with a new baby, he's very opinionated on the topic of baby names. We've agreed on Olivia Kaye and Elliot James. But he doesn't have the strong desire that I do and he doesn't really understand my fear that I won't be able to naturally be a mother. I'm not sure that he could understand completely. He's supportive and is always willing to hold me when I cry. {Which I usually do at least 2 times a week.} I pray for deliverance from the desire to be a mother, but feel no relief. I pray for a blessing of our own. I'm not really sure why I feel compelled to share such personal information, in such an un-private arena. I don't really talk about it to very many people. But lately I've felt like I was going to explode. Chance is getting less patient with me on the subject. And my friends say all the right things but are in different places in their lives and just don't wholly understand. I feel very alone for the first time in my life, and I am surrounded by more people than ever. I work with a wonderful group of women, some who have children others who don't. I have a wonderful husband and family. Yet still I feel completely isolated. I'm beginning to doubt that I'm meant to be a mother, but then again I can't believe that my God would give me such a strong desire if He didn't intend for me to become a mommy. So I suppose that for now I will be praying until I'm blue in the face- or round in the belly.
Posted by Sarah & Chance Bendel at 8:04 AM

Tangible proof... finally.

Being as how we've know Sweet Pea was coming for nearly 2 wks now, this may seem a bit odd. Its silly I know, and I don't care. Here's the story:

You don't know this but the day I found out I was pregnant, I had taken an at home pregnancy test, it was negative. So when Nurse Amy called, I was shocked. Had stock piled tests like I was preparing for the Apocalypse, so I just took one every couple of days.. all negative. So last night before Daddy took me out to dinner for an early birthday celebration I took my last at home pregnancy test. Finally.. tangible proof. The doctors have told me several times, and I've been a very good girl taking my vitamins everyday {even though I HATE taking medicine!} But somehow it just didn't seem real, like there was some mix up at the lab.. twice. I kept waiting for the doctors office to call and tell me how sorry they were for all the confusion and the inconvenience. So to have the tangible proof, is so comforting.

I can't wait to "see" Sweet Pea on Wednesday, our first doctors appointment.

Things that have happened so far:

• Mommy has been having quite a bit of discomfort in and around your "home."
• Mommy is exhausted, taking mid day naps and in bed by 11.
• Aunt Ashley came all the way from Mississippi to visit us this week, she is so excited.
• Mimi {Mommy's mom} got Mommy her first real maternity shirt, it's not that bad.
• Mommy is going to have to do something about her pants situation very soon, they're a bit snug to say the least.
• Daddy gives "the belly" kisses every night, he loves Sweet Pea very much!

Well Wishes for Sweet Pea 8-6-09

Uncle Barry:
Hi Sarah,
That is great news for you and Chance!! We're so happy for you. I usually check in on your blog every week or so, so now I'll also check on the new baby blog. Again...CONGRATS!!
Take care,
Barry

Cousin Micah:
How wonderful, Sarah!!! I am so happy for you guys! You are going to be an absolutely amazing mommy. What a lucky baby!! I'm excited to follow the blog. YAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!
Take care!
Love, Micah (&Kevin)

Aunt Becky:
Hi Sarah….Bev told me a few days ago that you were pregnant. I’m so excited for you!! I tried to email you but it kept coming back undeliverable. I also tried to text you, but wasn’t sure I had the right phone number. Anyway, I’m so excited and happy for both you and Chance. I may be in Paducah in late September, so I look forward to catching up on what’s happening! Are you now living in your apartment and did Chance get another job. I’m playing catch up from talking with you last Christmas!
We love you!
Becky

Nikki Wilson:
Oh wow!!! Congratulations Sarah!!! Chance has called a couple of times, but I wasn't in a position to answer my phone. I thought he was going to get onto me for not having lunch with you guys while I was in town last. (sorry about that.) I will be back in Paducah in September. We will have to get together!!! I'm so happy for you guys!!! Congratulations again!!!!!!!!

Angela Schafer:
Congrats Sarah!!! I'm so happy for you and Chance!!!!

Ashley Mclemore:
And I'm gonna be an aunt!! Yay! Gosh and don't you know that is gonna be the most gorgeous kid?

257

It all started when Mommy went to a new doctor, Dr. Owens {he's wonderful.} Dr. Owens wanted to put Mommy on a new medicine called Provera, but before I could start taking it there were some tests to be run. As a precaution on July 29, 2009 they performed a quantitative blood pregnancy test. I prepared myself for the inevitable "negative" result, never expecting that I'd be pregnant. The very next day Dr. Owens nurse Amy {also very nice} called and told me not to take my medicine, that I was going to have a baby. In a second my world changed forever. My hands began to shake and I asked her at least 5 times if she was sure. {In a quantitative blood test they measure the hCG levels in a woman's blood, anything below a 10 is negative; above an 11 is positive. My level was 257!!} On the 31st I went in to have more blood work drawn to make sure that everything was progressing normally, my hCG level should have at least been 500.. it was 894. I was over the moon with excitement. As soon as I received my results I made my first appointment with Dr. Owens for August 12, 2009; just 6 days before my birthday. What a wonderful birthday gift from God.

Things that have happened so far:

• Your Aunt Lindsay bought you your first gift: a 4-pack of bibs with very funny sayings.
• I can feel your "home" expanding, it scared me at first, but now I'm used to it.
• Mommy is very, very, very tired.
• We've told all of our family and friends, and everyone is very excited to meet you.

Our Blessing, an Introduction.

We are the Bendel's, Sarah and Chance. We were married on September 15, 2007. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a Mommy. Once we were married, I wanted to start trying immediately, Chance wanted to leave it in God's hands and "just let it happen." In the end Chance got his way. We were not trying to get pregnant but, on July 30, 2009 we found out that we are expecting a baby. We are over the moon with joy. I look forward to using this medium as a way to keep friends and family informed, and to share our journey. From here on out in this blog Chance and I will be referred to as Mommy and Daddy. I plan to publish this blog into a keepsake for our little sweet pea. Volume One is the pregnancy, here we go.